Toasted Quinoa Flakes with apples and cinnamon? Snore. Quinoa hot cereal topped with fresh fruit? Puh-lease. Get ready for a breakfast bowl that will punch your morning square in the mouth. Presenting the Epic Toasted Quinoa Breakfast Bowl. (Que blazing guitar solo.)
- Toasted Quinoa Hot Cereal (Quinoa Flakes)
- Chia seeds
- Slivered almonds
- Ceylon cinnamon
- Thrash metal
- Black pepper
- Himalayan pink salt
- Apple cider vinegar
- Coconut oil
- Cordyceps mushrooms
- Carefully read through all the steps before beginning so it turns out just right.
- Prepare Toasted Quinoa Hot Cereal as directed on package.
- Top with chia seeds, almonds and a dusting of cinnamon.
- Blare your favorite thrash metal - we like Nuclear Assault.
- Add turmeric, black pepper, and remaining ingredients.
- Add even more pungent superfoods - maybe some kombucha?
- Serve while hot - try not to hurt anyone with your newfound super-strength and boundless energy.
- Do not actually make this. It won't hurt you, but it will definitely be disgusting. Happy April Fool's Day!